Giving freedom when it counts

One time, a customer asked if they could try my product. I responded, “You can…but I don’t recommend it. I recommend getting started now, and here’s why.” Two minutes later, they bought. Sales Trainer Grant Cardone responds to “I’m not buying today” with “That’s fine, most people don’t buy on the first day. Most people …

3 Key Factors in Politeness – Distance, Power, Impositions

Distance  In Politeness theory, distance describes the degree of social familiarity between parties, such as the difference between a close friend and a complete stranger. When distance is high, we tend to minimize our FTAs (face threatening actions), and focus on off record (implied) requests. Conversely, when distance is low and familiarity high, we tend …

Why there’s more to Politeness than meets the eye

According to Politeness theory, selling and negotiating are among the most delicate of social interactions. This is because our offers and requests – the essence of what we do – are experienced as “FTAs” (Face threatening actions) by both parties. Having built on the work of Erving Goffman, the authors of this theory distinguish between …

Vegans – Masters of Social Influence?

As someone married to a vegan, I’m lucky to have a front row seat to frequent conversations about her lifestyle and the always required saving of face between differing parties. Interestingly, a researcher at Central CT State University in 2012 studied how vegans (and vegetarians) handle these exact situations with the goal of identifying the …

Seth Godin Talks Face

On Wednesday’s episode of his Akimbo podcast, Seth Godin dedicated his monologue to the precarious difference between truth and belief. He argues that because this difference is often overlooked, we have a tendency to talk past each other and miss the opportunity for real conversation.  In explaining the difference between truth and belief, he gives …

The Origin of Face

Many of us who study sales and negotiation have probably heard “always allow your customer (or buyer) to save face…”  However, rarely do we find an exact description of what this means. For this reason, I would like to share what I’ve learned about this concept and why I believe we should take an even closer …

Why I’m starting this Blog

For 10+ years now I’ve worked in various types of sales.  Like many Sales Professionals, I became quickly addicted to reading books, watching videos, and listening to audio materials by popular sales and ”success” gurus.  Thinking I had covered enough ground and looking for the next hidden advantage, I began exploring the subject of negotiation …